The only thing that comes to mind when I hear about the Pine Barrens of South Jersey is Christopher Moltisanti, Paulie Gualtieri, and an interior decorator who killed 16 Czechoslovakians; albeit, his house looked like shit.
But something even more grotesque than ManBearPig is lurking in those woods
The Jersey Devil.
For over 250 years the Jersey Devil is believed to have been stalking marshlands of Southern New Jersey. Numerous claims of the Jersey Devil thrashing chicken coops, blighting crops, and slaughtering animals. Cows have been known to cease giving milk, it has been known to blow the tops off of trees and make streams boil.
****************
Chris Kreider, the star forward of the New York Rangers, was on his way to a game against the New Jersey Devils when he heard a strange noise coming from the woods. Curiosity getting the best of him, he decided to investigate being the freedom-loving American hero that he was.
As he approached the edge of the woods, he saw a terrifying sight. The legendary Jersey Devil stood before him, its wings spread wide, its eyes glowing red. Chris knew he had to act fast if he wanted to survive.
Thinking quickly, he grabbed his trusty hockey stick and charged at the beast. The Jersey Devil snarled and swung its claws at Chris, but he dodged and weaved, using his stick to block its attacks.
As the battle raged on, Chris realized that his hockey stick was more than just a weapon – it was a tool. With each swing and jab, he channeled his love for the game, his passion for victory, and his dedication to his team.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Chris saw an opening. He swung his stick with all his might and struck the Jersey Devil in its chest. The beast let out a deafening screech and collapsed to the ground, defeated.
Chris stood victorious, his hockey stick still in hand. The goat-bat-llama douchebag Devil was vanquished. The day was his… AND TONIGHT HE SHALL SLAY THE GODFORSAKEN TEAM THAT HOLDS THE BEASTS NAMESAKE! ON GARDEN ICE HE SHALL WIN THE NIGHT! LET’S GO RANGERS!!
TwinkiesForAmerica
Actually it probably looks like the Jersey Devil from What We Do In the Shadows season 4
2 Comments
The only thing that comes to mind when I hear about the Pine Barrens of South Jersey is Christopher Moltisanti, Paulie Gualtieri, and an interior decorator who killed 16 Czechoslovakians; albeit, his house looked like shit.
But something even more grotesque than ManBearPig is lurking in those woods
The Jersey Devil.
For over 250 years the Jersey Devil is believed to have been stalking marshlands of Southern New Jersey. Numerous claims of the Jersey Devil thrashing chicken coops, blighting crops, and slaughtering animals. Cows have been known to cease giving milk, it has been known to blow the tops off of trees and make streams boil.
****************
Chris Kreider, the star forward of the New York Rangers, was on his way to a game against the New Jersey Devils when he heard a strange noise coming from the woods. Curiosity getting the best of him, he decided to investigate being the freedom-loving American hero that he was.
As he approached the edge of the woods, he saw a terrifying sight. The legendary Jersey Devil stood before him, its wings spread wide, its eyes glowing red. Chris knew he had to act fast if he wanted to survive.
Thinking quickly, he grabbed his trusty hockey stick and charged at the beast. The Jersey Devil snarled and swung its claws at Chris, but he dodged and weaved, using his stick to block its attacks.
As the battle raged on, Chris realized that his hockey stick was more than just a weapon – it was a tool. With each swing and jab, he channeled his love for the game, his passion for victory, and his dedication to his team.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Chris saw an opening. He swung his stick with all his might and struck the Jersey Devil in its chest. The beast let out a deafening screech and collapsed to the ground, defeated.
Chris stood victorious, his hockey stick still in hand. The goat-bat-llama douchebag Devil was vanquished. The day was his… AND TONIGHT HE SHALL SLAY THE GODFORSAKEN TEAM THAT HOLDS THE BEASTS NAMESAKE! ON GARDEN ICE HE SHALL WIN THE NIGHT! LET’S GO RANGERS!!
Actually it probably looks like the Jersey Devil from What We Do In the Shadows season 4